"Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks."
-- Gretchen
-- Gretchen
The first post, like the pilot episode, is a crap shoot. I’m making this up as I go and look forward to hating my earlier posts in six months. Until I find my stride, reading this blog is going to be similar to watching a blind man direct traffic. I’d apologize, but your discomfort isn’t important to me, and as a Bradley, I do everything I can to avoid admitting my mistakes.
I looked it up, and I cannot legally post recipes without the author’s permission. Which is a shame since I hate food blogs that don’t provide recipes. I’ll look into loopholes.
This week I chose to make a Paris-Brest Custard Cake. As the photos might indicate, there were many boob jokes to be had. The story goes that the pastry was designed to celebrate a bicycle race between the cities of Paris and Brest. That’s why it looks like a breast bike wheel. I got the recipe from “Butter Sugar Flour Eggs,” an excellent dessert cookbook by Gale Gand, Rick Tramonto, and Julia Moskin. I’m going to post numerous recipes from this book, not just because the food looks good but also because the writers are… eccentric. Each ingredient has its own chapter, complete with a “personality profile.” Those readers who know me personally are probably aware of my tendency to name inanimate objects, but even I don’t give butter a full battery of psychological tests. (Sentence one of the profile: “Butter is a true aristocrat – and a modest one.”)
This is definitely not something one throws together just as company is walking in the door. It took me about four hours to bake and assemble, and in the process I decimated the kitchen. It looked like I’d beaten a giant cream puff to death with every spoon and bowl I own.
